Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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