? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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