I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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