I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
