where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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