At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She's the barista slut.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Less talking, more tequila
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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