plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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