I'm really into asian looking animals
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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