awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
