You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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