ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
