your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
