Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
