I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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