Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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