my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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