So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
