I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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