Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I need to sanitize my soul.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
