How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
