just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
