Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
