Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
