Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
