So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
