Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
