i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
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Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
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he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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