wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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