what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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