hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
