Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
