Having a random hookup so left but love u
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
