Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Farmville is her only friend.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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