come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
