yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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