Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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