Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
