i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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