the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
