Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
