That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
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He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
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I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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