Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
