And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
