you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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