So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
