You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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