even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize