I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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