Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Randomize
