im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
This is classic penis vs brain.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
