Sponge bath it is.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just pee around me
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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