I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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