I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
