I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
