just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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